Who are you Really?

You might have noticed I’ve put a list my core values at the forefront of most of my copy. This is something you don’t usually see on an ad for a working girl. But it’s probably not much of a surprise then, to know that I also have them as my phone wallpaper and look at them every day.

Here’s the thing. If you don’t know what your values are, you can’t live by them in any sort of intentional way.

When you’re moving through life and deciding what move to make, you may feel your instincts, your gut kick in, to occasionally sending you in different directions while external pressures try to pull you in others.

Having a clear idea of who you are, what is important to you, what your values are, and what you want out of life, make it so much easier to make those tricky decisions. Especially when you are torn between your heart, head, your other head, and all the external pressures of life.

Living outside your own values can leave you feeling conflicted, stressed or even anxious and depressed.

If you would like to explore what is really important to you, I recommend following the same path I did. This is a 20 minute activity that can have a serious impact on the way you move through life.

The general consensus is that a list of values is only useful if the list is very short. 5 is great, 3 is even better. 3 – 6 words to describe your vibe is a good goal to have. But that’s hard! So lets break it down.

I’ve provided a PDF at the bottom of this page with a list of 230 potential Core Values. Review the list below and write down the first 20 that call to you, that feel like *you*. Print it and use a highlighter if that’s easier.

This should not take anyone else’s opinions into consideration. What is important to you? Okay maybe this will take longer than 20 minutes, depending on how out of touch you are.

Okay, now cross half of them off. This is tricky but you need to whittle that list down to 10.

Put these 10 candidates on a post-it note on your fridge or your bathroom mirror or save in a note on your phone. Read them to yourself every day for one week. Set a reminder in your phone to come back to this activity. Seriously, lets be accountable here. (Was accountable on your list?)

Okay its a week later. Time for Survival Round! Out of the 10 values you choose, which of them are really calling to you, and which of them feel disingenuous? Really think about this. I used to think Efficiency was one of my core values, but the more I looked at that word the more I realised that being efficient was something I do but not part of my core being at all. As useful as it is, my efficiency is actually a trauma response, not a value.

Check in with yourself. After a week of thinking about this at least once a day, you should have further clarity on what feels right. Okay. Now cross off at least FIVE.

That’s it! Now you have a short, manageable, memorable list of values. These are your priorities for life. This is the way. For you.

Check back in on this regularly to see how your actions stack up against your values, and what shifts you can make in your life to align yourself better with your own damn self.

And tell your friends, your family, your loved ones! If there is someone in your life that you are deeply connected with, they should know what your values are. If you are dating, look for people who have similar or compatible values.

So why do I put this in a sex ad? Because to me, its the quickest way to convey who I am as a person and what my intentions are. But also, because if I can be vulnerable and upfront with you about who I really am, then maybe the space I provide will feel just that little bit safer for you to do the same. And if we can connect on a deeper level, babe I’m just gonna cum more 😉

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